I've decided that I should start blogging again, at somewhat of a regular interval, mainly because I love having a record of silly stories and just looking back on the past. Not that this the most opportune time for me to blog a whole lot, but maybe I can get rollin' again.
As I was scrolling through my blog, I was revisiting 2 years ago, when I was pregnant with Claire and moving out of our condo and into our house. I have NO idea how I managed to do this, except that it was by the grace of God. Now, even the thought of doing all of that frightens me. I have 8 weeks to go, exactly from today. My c-section has been scheduled for April 3rd. So yeah, 8 weeks to go and I already feel done. I mean done. I take 2 naps a day typically, spend a lot of time on the couch or just sitting or laying down because I have this thorn in my flesh - not referring to the baby, don't worry. What I do have is this radiating middle back pain that ends up moving to my right side, and stays there, it lingers. Even visiting the chiropractor/massage therapist isn't really helping. What triggers it is standing. Whether a trip to the grocery store, or standing up to prepare a meal, after so long it just flares up and I all I can think about is when I will get to sit down. It's kind of a nuisance when there's life to be lived, meals to be made, little people to be taken care of. The couple of positives that I am trying (forcing myself) to remember is that the extra rest is probably necessary, I get a baby out of this, I get to read more, and spend more quiet quality time with the kiddos. And they do get a little extra tv watching in...but really, it's fine :)
I keep thinking, man, I would be coasting if it weren't for the pain in my side, the random heart palpitations, sleepless nights due to insomnia/ or a stuffy nose....BUT obviously that is not what God has intended for this season of my life and I cannot live life in the "if only" state for too long, otherwise I go into despair mode. I need to keep asking myself, what am I letting rule my heart - my circumstances or my God? With which will I find peace? The answer is obvious, now if I could only apply this on a regular basis! I am so thankful for the constant mercy He pours out on me though.
Ok, thanks for listening to my rant! Hopefully my next post will be a little perkier. :)