Thursday, February 16, 2012

Addicted to God

So, Whitney Houston died last week. I definitely loved some of her music but wasn't overly emotional over her passing. But then a couple days later I thought it would be appropriate to listen to a couple of songs, you know, pay my respects so to speak. Though, is it really paying your respects when you're listening to "I wanna dance with somebody, I wanna feel the heat with somebody"? Probably not. I let the girls listen to "I will always love you" and they both liked it. I told them she died. Claire's response was "she died? Oh." Sophie, on the other hand had a brain full of questions for me. Is it normal for a 4 year old to be so inquisitive? I really can't see Claire like that in 2 years, no offense to her, but anyhow. Here's kind of how our conversation went, over folding laundry together. S: why did she die? Me: Well, she had an addiction to drugs and alcohol. S: What's an addiction? What's alcohol? Me: An addiction is when you try to make yourself happy with anything other than God. Alcohol is something people drink, like wine or beer (yes, she knows what those are) but they drink too much to try to make themselves happy. One glass of wine is ok, but having 10 is bad. and it's bad for your body. S: (getting a little emotional already) Can kids be addicted, can anybody be addicted? Me: Well, usually it happens when people are older S: are you going to be addicted when you're older (pretty upset by now) Me: No, no! By God's grace mommy and daddy will not be addicted to anything. Thankfully, we know and love God and want to please him with our lives, and He will help us to stay that way. S: (crying now) I'm only addicted to God! And then we got on the subject of hope, and what's hope? And I was trying to explain how we should hope in God, and not in say...getting a package. You can be excited about a package and thankful if you get one, but you don't want to put your hope in getting a package. (She was expecting some valentines packages that day). She said ok, I won't put my hope in a package, well maybe just a tiny little bit. :) It was all precious, and made me think of 1 Peter 3:15 that says "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect" You certainly never know when a conversation about a pop star's death will lead to an opprtunity to teach about life, sin and God!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Life, Pregnancy, Etc.,

I've decided that I should start blogging again, at somewhat of a regular interval, mainly because I love having a record of silly stories and just looking back on the past.  Not that this the most opportune time for me to blog a whole lot, but maybe I can get rollin' again.

As I was scrolling through my blog, I was revisiting 2 years ago, when I was pregnant with Claire and moving out of our condo and into our house.  I have NO idea how I managed to do this, except that it was by the grace of God.  Now, even the thought of doing all of that frightens me. I have 8 weeks to go, exactly from today.  My c-section has been scheduled for April 3rd. So yeah, 8 weeks to go and I already feel done.  I mean done.  I take 2 naps a day typically, spend a lot of time on the couch or just sitting or laying down because I have this thorn in my flesh - not referring to the baby, don't worry.  What I do have is this radiating middle back pain that ends up moving to my right side, and stays there, it lingers.  Even visiting the chiropractor/massage therapist isn't really helping.  What triggers it is standing.  Whether a trip to the grocery store, or standing up to prepare a meal, after so long it just flares up and I all I can think about is when I will get to sit down. It's kind of a nuisance when there's life to be lived, meals to be made, little people to be taken care of.  The couple of positives that I am trying (forcing myself) to remember is that the extra rest is probably necessary, I get a baby out of this, I get to read more, and spend more quiet quality time with the kiddos.  And they do get a little extra tv watching in...but really, it's fine :)

I keep thinking, man, I would be coasting if it weren't for the pain in my side, the random heart palpitations, sleepless nights due to insomnia/ or a stuffy nose....BUT obviously that is not what God has intended for this season of my life and I cannot live life in the "if only" state for too long, otherwise I go into despair mode.  I need to keep asking myself, what am I letting rule my heart - my circumstances or my God?  With which will I find peace?  The answer is obvious, now if I could only apply this on a regular basis! I am so thankful for the constant mercy He pours out on me though.

Ok, thanks for listening to my rant!  Hopefully my next post will be a little perkier.  :)